Moms and Mobs

In case you missed it, Corinth City Council voted NOT to allow Crosswind to operate a home for single mom's in a facility that used to be a day care. The vote was split 3-4 with Mayor Latch being the deciding 'no' vote. The residents of the community the day care was in were out in force. The organizer of the residents had a petition that alleged to have all the residents in near proximity to the proposed boarding home.

Here's how prejudice and mob mentality works.

First, you create a monster. In our case the monster was a single mom in Corinth, MS. The way you do this is to make a caricature (exaggerate particular features) of the people. So in our case the people were told that the single mom's were drug addicts and ex-prostitutes, victims of abuse, etc. We heard also that they had men coming to look for them and abuse them more. Remember, none of this has to be true and in most cases of prejudice represents a small sampling of a particular group of people, but those are the only features that you hear about.

Next, you generate fear of the monster you've created. In our case a person from the community took a petition and went home by home generating interest and fear in the "monster" single moms. He highlighted portions of a newspaper article and began the process.

Then, you add community and conversation and research, increasing fear. Once you have created a monster and gotten the word out the frenzy begins. People do research, draw on their own personal experiences (all negative of course), but most importantly they talk to one another, endorsing and adding to each others fears. We heard a neighbor generating fear about home values presuming they would decrease, we heard some talk about history in the prisons and working with "the monsters", etc. Each person shares stories and research increasing the fear and prejudice of the collective whole. The only thing the ringleaders must do in this phase is to ensure no one hears the truth and definitely not the other side of the story. We made an effort to sit down with the community organizers and answer questions, clarify concerns and our intentions but that offer was rejected. The sheep were afraid. That was enough.

Finally, you release the community to their lowest instincts, of fear, hatred, and prejudice. In our case, this was the meeting. People came in afraid and angry and that was all that was needed. It usually is.

This is a simple process that draws on primal human feelings of self preservation and fear.

Here's the problem, Single mom's are not monsters. My mom didn't know she was marrying a guy with childhood abuse that would later be acted out in her home. She worked three jobs barely surviving trying to raise six children, on her knees every night, at church every week, loving her children, doing her best, not a monster at all. Or the girl who gets pregnant and the male is not held responsible to help and now she is a mom and ill-equipped to be one and trying like crazy to make it, not a monster at all.

Or any of a zillion other reasons there are single moms.

If you take any of the mob, get them alone with the moms, let them hear their stories and feel their struggles... with few exceptions, the hard hearts would soften and the same people who were afraid and angry and operating at a primal level would rise, their souls would feel compassion and the cycle would reverse.

Instead of bad memories and experiences and research they would have a great sense of urgency and creativity mobilized to help the mom rather than hurt her. Now they would be telling their friends the stories of hope and progress and baby steps forward, instead of made up stories from our worst examples and our worst fears.

The only thing you have to do is to take the imaginary monster and replace it with a real single mom. And please, for the sake of single moms and their children, and their future... Pick moms over mobs.

In case you're wondering, we love single moms. We're gonna stand with them, try to figure out how to help them, struggle with them, cry when they do, celebrate their baby steps forward, and look with great hope to the day they will be able to live in the very neighborhood that rejected them... not for spite's sake, for their sake...

And for yours.

BC